Big huge logs and an aging woman (who just starts realizing it)

As promised I am going to write more often and hopefully not a book every time.

Is there anything better in life than a barn full of big thick logs? Yes off course there is but for us who get our heating from wood it is a beautiful sight. My husband picked up a truckload full with pine and birch today that we now have to chop in smaller pieces. They are 3 meters and really wide. To think off all that heat they are going to give is pure joy. And it is fantastic exercise to chop them even though we have machines it is a lot off carrying, and the smell when you work with wood is heaven. We all get our kicks from different things.

Kept the kids home from kindergarten today and we spent some hours making sushi. We tried the kind off roles where the rice is on the outside and it was rather easy. My friends M in Japan and J in England would have been impressed. I find sushi a great food to make with the kids with the rolling and spreading off the rice. Just found some nori leave by the computer. My kids love it and chew on it like it is candy. Good since it is so healthy.

Then I went to interview some senior citizens for our local information paper that I and husband produce once a month. This group meets once a week and cooks lunch together. Then they eat and gossip together. They were really sweet and seem to have a fantastic time. It is lovely to see how they care about each other and cherish this moment together. Especially in the winter when it is just so easy to sit inside. Sometimes I wonder how life will be when I am old and grey. I see me living next door to J and P and sip tea and cook interesting foods, doing gardening and enjoying loads off grand kids. And off course the weather will be fantastic and there will be mountains with my favorite ice-cream cookies and cream or caramel, brand Nirvana. Lots off knitting and writing charming books.

Lately it has hit me that I am not as young as I always thought. I do get tired, like yesterday when I took apart middle boys bunk bed and moved it in to his new room and put it all together again. It weighed a ton. I have not learned to be patient and wait until husband comes home, maybe that will come with time. I also catch myself with thinking, oh look at that old stiff man, and then I realize his probably 10 years younger than me. I do not know if I have anxiety about it yet. I also started liking peace and quiet since around Xmas and there is not a lot of that around here. Also noticed how kids never wants to sleep, well I noticed I do like to go and sleep at nights so that must be a sign of getting older. Would probably need glasses to cause sometimes the letters in my books just goes break dancing but I always blame it on being too tired to read anyway.

OK signing off, was that good L, not to long I hope.

Peace

Swedish sport holidays

So I did not blogg for awhile, just have not felt the inspiration but maybe you do not need to.

We still have lovely winter weather. I heard the other day that if you ski 45 minutes a day you spend 760 calories so that makes me wonder why I do not. Not really for the calories that I am just old enough to not care about but it is just so easy to put the skies on a go. I will do it today for sure.

Last week our kitchen water froze for 4 days and the kitchen looked like a bomb had hit the place. Finally I had to do the dishes in the bathroom and that brought back old memories when we restored the kitchen last year and did not have a kitchen for 9 months. Suddenly a measly 4 days seemed like a piece off cake. We had horrid snowstorms in south off Sweden a week ago but despite that my parents drove up on Friday to pick up my two oldest boys to go skiing. They have the yearly sport holiday, which usually means that kids sits in front off their computer for a week. We are so lucky to have my parents cause I doubt that we would go away skiing all 7 off us. It just seems like to much dressing kids, finding lost mittens and hats, carrying tired crying kids and not so much relaxing for us parents. And second youngest boy does not like snow at all. He complains every morning when he has to dress up in the warm overall and a year ago when he went visiting my husbands mum the first thing he did coming their he called home and said you do not have to even where a jacket here. A true Mediterranean boy.

I am spending the sport holiday fixing middle boys room. He has always shared room so far but is now getting one all by himself and a fab one I might add. I painted the walls a strong, light green color and his bunk bed in a metallic green and when he comes back we are going to paint big cartoon dragonball characters. When we restore we always do it in an old way, not just looking old but we strip the walls down to the timber and newspaper and paste it with wrapping paper which is the only paper they had back then and then we paint with linen oil paint so the room smells like a nice salad dressing. But on the kids room we do an exception. I want to do it how they like it. You know how you will see in magazines kiddy rooms with 2 toys on the floors and mild pastel colors. If you ask me the child did not chose that herself. We have already been remaking all the kiddy rooms the 3 years we lived here and therefore I tend to find cheap material and paints that are easy to paint over. We started with Lilo and Stich on small boys’ wall, middle boy had Harry Potter flying on a broomstick and big boy had 2 horses from the movie Spirit. I am not great with my own painting ideas but a wiz at copying. Big girls room was lovely to make since she wanted Indian and romantic theme. Then big boy got teenage room with turquoise, lime green and dark blue walls. Bed in metallic turquoise. The two middle boys got yellow, green and purple walls and also metallic blue beds. I really like the metallic paints, they make such a cool impression and they are water based so they do not stink more then necessary. Then I add the finishing touches from IKEA like pillows, rugs drapes and so on. IKEA is the best for kiddy stuff. I love doing rooms up if I just get the time and space I need. And a big thank god for the libraries where you get loads off ideas. We redo the kiddy rooms often, but the other rooms we want to do once so it takes a long time to figure out how we want it and what furniture we want.

Now to a sadder note. Our lovely neighbor went in to the hospital a week ago. It turns out he has herpes simplex encephalitis which is an infection in the brain and nothing to play with. He has had bad fevers for more then a week and has been confused. I really do hope he will recover. His wife is off course really affected by this considering just a little more than a week ago they were living they everyday life just like normal. They are one off those couples who has it. I mean who are happy and content with each other and who like spending time together. They respect each other a lot and are always happy and have lots off humor. I would love to be like that when I grow old. And they always have time for the village kids who often visits. Him and his wife are really close to us and kind off adopted grandparents to my kids who have their own grandparents so far away. Sure it is just life passing by but a hard part which we do not have around a lot thank god.

And yesterday 2 busses collided on the icy road north off Uppsala, resulting in 6 dead people. Makes you think.

Sorry L this one became long again but I will take your advise and blog a little shorter once and more often, if I can organize myself, as you know I am lousy at that.

Love and Peace

Bad sleep and sushi

I thought it was cold yesterday but today we woke up to -21 C and then it is usually really cold, like 9 c in the kitchen but wonders off wonders. My lovely husband had been up working half the night and had been putting fire in the wood burner and putting it on low so when I came down this morning it was a stunning 15,5 ^oC which is fab. I do not like being cold at all inside so that was a fantastic start off the day. The night was a bit shitty though. My husband got up sometime – god knows when – to work, our 3 years old also woke up discovering he was thirsty, hungry, wanting company and so on. My husband is better at being up at night so he took care off it even though there was a lot off getting in and out off bed. Do need to mention that we are restoring 2 bedrooms at the time so all off us except 13 year old daughter sleep in the same room (something we found extremely cozy in the beginning but not so great now).

Back in bed all off us, Forrest started crying because he could not find his new fart cushion. Husband managed to find it before the rest of the clan woke up. Just asleep, our fire alarm started beeping. Not a lot as in fire but a little as in low battery please change and we were so tired we did not realize it was the fire alarm but thought it was something rather passing. Like it would be at 4 in the morning! Well that is just a taste off my thinking. After what seemed ages my husband went down (climbing over all off us in bed - again) but did not manage to get the alarm thingies down so I got down and got a chair out, still did not reach, got a casserole on top off the chair and then three phonebooks and reached but could not still get it out without breaking it. A big treat though it happened to be, to be up in the morning alone. Made a cup off mint tea, and went to get some firewood.

When it is really cold like -20 it becomes so quiet. The air just kind of stands still and you can hear noises like a car or something kilometers away. At this time in the morning though there were no cars around just me and the cats. Not even the birds were up and it is completely magic when the world around you is just white and quiet. That charges your batteries for a looong time!

Another small wonder that happened last night – or should I say 2 wonders were that first daughter 13 year old found a new sweater she wanted to buy. She loves her old clothes and wears them to rugs. She was so pretty in a light turquoise hood jacket. And then we took her to our favorite sushi place Ippai Ippai and she loved it. She usually throws up if you mention sushi which is a pity since the rest off us love it but yesterday she scoffed! Hale Mary!

At 19.00 we had the charming sushi place all by ourselves which helps because Swedish people become rather irritated when you bring kids to a restaurant. I ones asked why and the woman said -You bring 5 kids to take up half the space in the restaurant and then they are not going to eat are they? –But off course they are why would I bring 5 children to a restaurant if only me and my husband would eat? She then irritated pointed out that children do not eat sushi. Oh revelation, then it must be little grownups we are having because our kids love sushi and another important issue is that as they do they are actually busy eating not running around screaming in the restaurant. I find that really sad that kids are not welcome in restaurants in Sweden – not by the staff but by other guests.

But when we are off on vacation in south Europe we think it is so charming with kids running around. It is a big treat for us to go out and eat and we do not do it very often but it would be a little more pleasant for us parents if we could bring our kids to more places then IKEA to eat. And a weird thing being at IKEA is that the tables at the children corner are occupied with older people without children! Must be that we do love children so much and want to be around them, we just forget it in a sushi place and remember it at IKEA. Let’s remember it a little more! In New Zealand they often put a basket full with toys so that kids can be occupied with that while the parents are eating, good idea. Last night a little sweaty hand suddenly landed on my cheek and a little voice said –You are just so cute mum (du är bara så söt mamma). Now I hear little noises up stairs and it is 9 am, the little once slept until now! And wait, the noises are not so little, they are big noises from the fart cushions they got yesterday followed by hysterical laughers.

Housewife / home mom

This one was supposed to be posted yesterday but because off my not existing computer knowledge it just was not. I am the kind that goes to my 6 year old boy for help at the computer. But I am aze at knitting, sewing and I make the meanest chocolate cake in most off Europe so I guess I am excused. This morning started out with catching diamonds. It was a cold morning, -9 (Celsius) and the sun did a fantastic job. All the ice-cold snowflakes coming down just looked like a million diamonds and my 3 year old, my 6 year old and me could not believe how beautiful it all was.

So writing yesterday that I am all but ordinary my friends knows what I mean, I am not trying to be different that just seem to happen in my life. From being a career woman I meet the love off my life, produces a couple off kids, all our kids are not self-made but all the same they are our children, at the same time as we move abroad for 9 years, and back.

I am a house wife - which I understand is just a term used in porn movies now days – in Sweden we call it home mom, but in Sweden we are a dying breed. We have kind off forgotten that there is a choice not to leave our 1 year olds to kindergarten. Home moms have a very low status in the Swedish society and most women seem to think we do this just to show that we are better than the ones who leave their kids every morning. This is not the case; let me explain that once and for all, we do this because it is how we become happy. I would not have it any other way. I do not think I am better than anybody else but I do think this is the way for me to be the best mother I can be, and it makes me happy. And if I am happy my family is happy. I am very happy I live in a country where this is a possibility. I can stay at home without my husband having to have two jobs. Okay we do not have a flat screen TV or new flashy things for our kids, or 2 cars but we have a life which we chose ourselves and that we so love. We only live once and it is so important to make it a good one. Not to just be a victim in your own life.

I do not think kindergartens are bad – on the contrary they are fantastic and enable women to work. I do think though that we parents are so good at thinking that everything is the schools or kindergartens responsibility and we have forgotten somehow that it is we who make a difference in our child’s life. And that is not calculated in the amount off time spent with our children but in how we spend that time with our children. Lets give the women and men who are taking care off our children everyday a big hug and tell them how extremely important they are. We tend to forget that but we do remember to tell them when they do something wrong. Sometimes the only time you remember these key persons in your child and therefore your life is when things go really wrong and damage is done, or when you read some horrible story in the paper about child abuse.

I just happen to have a kindergarten teacher walking in through the door just now because her car broke down near our house. So even if I do not have my friends a teacup away I seem to get other lovely surprises for tea.

A question to you guys out there who blog; is it common that you sit down to write about something, and suddenly you written something totally different or does that make bad blogging? Have the loveliest day.

Why a blog ...

I am writing this blog to my very dear and lovely friends and family who are spread out around the world, and in Sweden. I wish they would also blog so I could follow their everyday life not just in mind. I am writing in English for the obvious reason that my friends are an international bunch and my Swedish tribe knows English. I am going to do a million spelling mistakes, that you just have to bare with.

I am all but ordinary and to compensate for that I have a huge love for everyday ordinary life. When it works it is just heaven. I moved from a big capital in Europe 3 years ago to a small village in Sweden. I am Swedish, my husband is Mediterranean and we chose our paradise here partly because of our 5 children who have a fantastic life here. They can run, bike, ski, swim - just around the corner. The small village school has the best teachers, the best children and the best food. The kindergarten is paradise for little children who want to grow up being respected, not stressed but doing things in their own time, not bullied and eating Bettans fantastic home cooked meals or baked bread. As a parent you can participate as much as you like and I do.
My outmost respect goes out to these lovely ladies who make my little boys day’s heaven.

Another reason why we moved was that we had had enough off big city stress, enough of big city costs and so enough off big city pollution. The down side is that we miss our fantastic friends that were just a teacup away. They are now spread out in England, Denmark, Italy, Japan, US. We really cherish the times we had together and try to make new ones now here, or over at their places. We are longing for the day we are all together again (I know that s probably just a dream – but dreams do come true).

We found our haven in a 150 year old farm. Here you have peace off mind and you have the freedom off looking out the window and just following the field acres after acres. We have wildlife in our back garden, moose and deer eating from our apple trees, compost and vegetable garden, fox, rabbit, hawks and a million other birds. We are no farmers and are not trying to bee either but we do respect the land and all that it gives us. A dream would bee to be self-sufficient in all food but for now we grow our own potatoes, carrots, red beats, apples, currants. We also get eggs from our chickens (right now we do not have any but are getting new ones in spring). We expand a little every year but we are still just beginners. We are fortunate enough to have lovely neighbors who help us with advice and gladly share their produce.

Another dream that could be a future project is to eat food that has not traveled half the world. We eat ecological food for the obvious reason that we do not want to stuff our bodies with pesticides and other poisons, we do not even know exists in food. I mean where does all these allergies, cancers and other deceases come from. Food maybe? I love crafting. Mainly knitting all sorts off thing like scarves, sweaters, cardigans, socks, and hats. My favorite color combination is pink and orange. I also like darning socks, it is very under estimated and highly therapeutic (darning is fixing wholes in socks) and a never ending job with 7 people in the house. I also sew. It is great getting the clothes you want to have and it saves money.

I love reading books. All sorts but I have a special love for Swedish writers because I missed that a bit when I lived abroad for 9 years. Right now I am reading “Stalull och karlek” by Lisbeth Pipping, it is about growing up with a mentally handicapped mum. A lot off horrific reading but at least I just have to read it and not experience it.

I believe we adults should do so much more for children. We should give them the tools for coping in the everyday life that has become really hard with all influence from mass media. We should start by seeing them. A little love goes a long way. I see a scary trend off grownups being to busy living their own lives and forgetting the ones they have been putting on this earth. Expecting things from them that we would never buy into ourselves. Example having two homes. Who would like to switch homes every week? I have no answer to this one and it is really tricky. Or, we do not want our kids to walk into a church because the bible just preaches a lot off made up stuff but we park them in front of TV, video, DVD or computer games fighting fantasy figures all the time which are extremely made up. We are not really showing them a real world are we? To bee a bit bored is the real world not to over stimulate our little ones to the limit. And then we are surprised that they are hyper or have nightmares about Schmeegel. Heck I have nightmares about Schmeegel. We should not numb them, we should cherish their pure and beautiful minds and value the fantastic compassion that kids seem the have naturally.

Another dream I have is that women would support each other more. That we would stick together and help each other. That is what I had in my abroad life. We were a group off women from different parts off the world, who met a couple of times a week because we really liked each other and we very naturally helped each other out in the daily life. Things like cooking, cleaning, babysitting but mostly supporting each other. Lots off talking, advising, no judging, not always understanding but always accepting. Showing love without judging and back talking. And boy, did I learn from these women. They are like my sisters, mothers, grandmothers, soul mates and friends. It means so much to have this support in life. It really helped me grow, and get to know myself. We are just so fast at jumping at each others throats as soon as a woman sticks out her neck. We are so good and quick at sinking instead off saving a sister woman in need. Shame on us. We should love and accept, not judge. We do not have to agree about what another woman do or say but we should still respect them. Love and respect is the clue. Men seem to have this. A feminine energy needs to come into the society for us to succeed in the end. It is not a matter off getting women in the board of director’s chairs, it is about accepting women being women and getting the beautiful femininity into the directors chairs. We do not have to succeed being like men, we need to succeed being like women. Maybe we are easier to respect if we are not ashamed off our feminine sides, off our beautiful minds and off the fantastic change we do in the world. Just a small thing like why do women in power positions dress like men, in suits. Yes, sometimes maybe a skirt but not a beautiful one. When did you last see a government meeting thinking –I wonder where she bought that lovely dress? There is a fantastic clothe brand called Odd Molly which would suit these great women. Unfortunately the prize off the clothes is also only something power people could afford but it would make me really happy seeing women dressed like women. I know that I am now sitting here judging left and right, it just feels a bit like if these really great, hardworking women who are such role models could show the world, I succeed because I am a woman not I succeed because I happen to bee a woman but do the job as a man. Anyhow I love women and I love men. This was not a small introduction and I am sure my goddaughter E is going a bit mad over all missed commas etc.

A last small addition is that I love singing in the village choir and a new interest I am exploring is aikido – so far so good even though I am feeling a bit old and stiff at times. I am happy you want to join in my everyday life and I hope I can join in yours.